I figured out why.

Ah yes, what about what I think when I'm not looking?  It's not supposed to affect people.  Maybe, I am mad my dad is born in 1950.  He said he was strong, but I think he was fat.  I have a friend with a really fat dad.  He's made my dad seem weak and like shit, as though he has a weak frame, though they're from New Jersey.  Their daughter is so huge, but she took medicine.  She's as tall as me.  My dad is pretty cool, but I don't know why.  He's a little mean, shitty, yet feared.  I don't know why.  Why do other people think their dads make them more special in comparison to my mom?  WTF does that mean?  How old are these people?  I've never seen a very appealing man|boy born around 1957-1961.  The younger boys, like around my age, are attractive, but that's about it, and the younger ones, just not where I'm from..  I don't give a fuck about people Ellen DeGeneres's age and my aunt.  Oh, well, yes I do like my aunts, but I think other people would like them.  I will not say that I'm crap compared to Ellen DeGeneres!  She keeps thinking I'm crap not that it's a result of where I lived and "how" I'm treated, that I'm the way my parents treat me.  I know with other people I'd be very different if I had them as parents.  It was a big part of our lives all growing up.