Post Edit

link

Music

If you like to sing, why would you do it in some form other than what they do in music class?

I had to take a heart pill.

Fresh and Showered * * * *

I just had a nice shower and was singing.

I guess the Risperdal made me grow. 8|

But at least it wasn't like really weird.  I just seem to have stretched a bit other than having an especially wide waist.

old photos

Flickr

I'll probably take a nap b4 hallo'een.

My Dad's Looks

I dad apparently was very, very different before.  I guess he looks more like when he was younger now.

{Green and Dark Brown} Melted!

My ice cream sandwich melted!  :0

To Helena Bonham Carter

To Helena Bonham Carter:  I'm sorry I was upset.  I thought you wanted me to get it out.  Now what do I say?  I have a block in thinking, as usual and don't want to sit here and break through this, for some resaon, as usual.

I'm adding a link to this in the old posts and links to the old post in this.

Post

Post

Edit

I added a link to my previous post.

Follow-Up on Orlagh Fallon

Sorry I was upset.  I don't remember why.  }:  I just wanted to make sure nothing happened.  I'm getting strange messages.  Maybe, I shouldn't talk to some people, but I will continue to keep up with you, maybe checking at least every month.

I'm posting a link that I added this in the previous post.

Previous Post

*cough* *cough* 8I

Are you okay?

If you hang out with anyone who is good, when they mess up, people will make a big deal of it.  There are people who just react a certain way.  If not, then they're bad.

Swirling Around in the Toilet

So, I felt myself bubbling in power, like bubbles were happening that I didn't have to work to make, like all in my butt and bottom of my thighs.  I keep swirling around in the toilet.

So, these bubbles were very thick and strong and meneable and pleasurable.

STOP

Stop going crazy because I'm cursing and changed my blog.

I am serious.

I do not want to be touched by my father, so the lot of you stop encouraging that.

To my dad

Are you sending me cryptic messages?

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? I THOUGHT YOU WERE PREGNANT!!!

Wow, Orlagh Fallon is really mean.  She sides with mean people and doesn't let you defend yourself.

Or is someone fooling with me?  Because I know that's gonna go...

Follow-Up

WTF!@#*

So, only child stars and prodigies deserve to feel pleasure when they do, openly?

Tim Burton Making up Bullcrap

Why won't Tim Burton stop making up bullcrap?  It's Helena and the people in the experiment who wanted me to call his daughter a nigger.  Helena will just deny that and say I was just dreaming.  I know I pick up signals from her pretty minutely.  He seems kinda upset about my dad.  I know he's pretty English and not pretty Irish because Irish-American was pretty sucky in the 90s.  I guess it was in the 80s, too.

Fucker

Why do you keep getting hypercritical at what I say online?  Think you're something special, huh, huh?  Howcome you don't listen.  What the fuck you want, fucker?

Talking

What is up with Ellen DeGeneres?  She keeps spinning topics back around.  She thinks there's some feeling there but never talks about anything concrete.  Should she even be having a "talk show?"

Dummy

It's never right to be mean to anyone.

Dumb-Ox, Lame-Brain, Psycho, Mental Case

Website Updates

Notices

"My site may be a little slow today while I wait for the money to pay for it.​"

Afterthought|Reminder

I need to plaster this up on my website that I curse like this blatantly now because I know if I don't somehow something worse will happen later.

WOULD YOU SHUT UP, ALREADY & QUIT YOUR BULLCRAP!!!

I don't deserve Hell for thinking someone|some people wanted me to call them a nigger!

Memory

I don't know what my dad's family's problem is with sustaining feelings.

Sorry

I know this boy whose dad died.  *deleted*  I mean, I don't want my dad to die, not now.  However, I do feel a finesse for his situation.

Edit: Sorry if you don't like how I said that, but people don't like to talk!  :0  I'll think about erasing it.  Just thought I should let the world know what I posted.  :|

My dad is sick! :0

I need to figure out to plaster an explanation on my website that I've been cursing at my dad so I don't curse at other people and because I think he told other people what to do, but he may die!

The Point

So, is the point to get me offline?

*Why should I?*

Why should I submit to you, ever feel that?  I'm an adult, already.  This is all wrong and !@#*

Your Point?

So, you want to wallow and have me pick you up for no reason?

Your Point

So, when I make a point I like against you concerning someone else, then it's bad, but otherwise it's bad, too?

"I'm dysfunctional" ^0^

So, pretty much Ellen DeGeneres is either stupid or dysfunctional.  She says her only answer is an insult.

Ellen DeGeneres

I want to get out of the stress of these exercises with her.  She's older than my mom!  I don't know if I should have said that.  She just has a way of functioning, like a machine.  She goes wild with her ethnicity.  Her dad is more particular, and her mom is more like a thick ethnicity.  So, she does what she does and then it's magically it she says.

I just got really mad.

I was thinking of how Ellen DeGeneres is making statements because of the n word thing.  I don't know how to fix her problem.

Then, I was thinking of how I couldn't talk to Ellen DeGeneres.

I realized when the word *shit* came up as the result of a person, I meant to call them that.  That upset me, and I wonder who I'm gonna call shit.

YOU FUCKING IDIOT

You good for nothing lo life.

I imagined my daugther and herd  car roar by imagining a mangled girl.

YouTube Comment

YouTube

Happy Halloween everybody!

JoboHotep 2 hours ago

• Happy Halloween to you, too!

  CABarrett1986 in reply to JoboHotep (Show the comment) 1 second ago

Sex With Ellen DeGeneres

Better Than Sliced Bread! 8D

I dream of getting that sperm for my baby.  I imagined, well, I saw a black spot on the side of the sink like a fly and then disappear, near a black smear.

Before, I imagined a like maybe greenish illusion of a boy with light brown hair saying, "Hi, Mom," and then leaving.  I was in the garage.

So, think of like your kids as like a loaf of bread.

Punish me!

What do you think of the deathly pressure to post pictures of your sibling when they were born ...

I know I was online kinda hypnotized or maybe made the wrong decision.  I didn't really feel pressure.

Is Ellen DeGeneres a Perceiver?

I got the message that Ellen DeGeneres thinks I should have reshaped my view of Nell Burton.  I just judge her for what she si sis.

I'm tired of stupid Helena Bonham Carter.

No, I don't really want to think anyone is like stupid  in a stupid way.  I just got the message my mom was shredded before I could go trick-or-treating with her.

Follow-Up

Ellen DeGeneres ^--^

Ellen doesn't listen to people who aren't all white.  I've written a lot of smart stuff.  Well, I think she's read it, found me as a Tim Burton fan.

WAHT!?!?!?!?

link

Shut yo, stupid ... think you can control me?

JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE YOU GAY TWIT

STOP MY DAD

He thinks he can control my life.

Did my dad

just end up tearing down my mom?

Cursers

My dad thinks people who curse like him for beating me up for cursing online.

Don't act like that didn't just happen.

I feel that people are only communicating to me treating me like *beep*

Then, they'll go on forever making me think of them hurting each other, day in and day out, because of the n word thing.

I don't have to deal with their family insecurities.

I think my mom was mad that my dad's family treated her like shit.  Well, they are shit.  They are stuck up around me all the time.  Only when they get close do they seem amiable.  That isn't often..  No, I don't like being treated like I'm not that white.  I also don't want to be duped out of meeting other people.  I also bear connections with my ancestors that they don't..  If you didn't know, it's a topic that's brought up, for some reason.  I don't think that's very interesting.  No one needs to know.  It can come up, but it shouldn't.

Please stop being so suggestive about my mom because she's Chinese and isn't totally shit.  Yes, she has other heritages, like Dutch, maybe Middle Eastern, and Indonesian.  The Dutch controlled Indonesia for about 400 or 500 years.  The first wave of Chinese immigrants came 600 or 700 years ago, at first I thought from Midsouthern and South Southeastern China.  Then, I found they were from the Mongolian area and the Korean and Japanese area.  They were made 2nd class.  What if we classed the wo'ld?

1 - Scandinavians
2 - Russians
3 - Dutch
4 - French
5 - English
6 - Germans
7 - Jewish
8 - Chinese
9 - Irish
10 - Scottish
11 - Welsh
12 - Middle Eastern
13 - Indian
14 - Spanish
15 - Italian
16 - Japanese
17 - Korean
18 - African, Indonesian, Taiwan
19 - Vietnamese, Islanders
20 - Others
21 - Sundanese

Tim

So, if my dad is shit and only cares about Nell Burton, I wonder why she's with Tim.

My Dad

He needs to fall to the bottom of the ocean with a rock.

SHUT UP!

I keep getting the idea that elle thinks like what I do is dependent on how I tick about my dad.  She thinks everything is caused by something else.  She's crazy|nuts|insane|psycho.

Hey!

My dad made my egg sack feel like a cane going under it.  He needs to back off and stop pretending he's Ellen DeGeneres because he rings off as crap.

Humiliated!

My parents ate the chocolate bars!  In the freezer!  :0

Chinese and Italians

I guess Chinese and Italians are grouped apart from the Jews.  I don't want to think that it works any other way.

Check out her background: Wiki.

The interesting part goes from 26:13 to the end.

YouTube

Also, I think I have Swiss and Polish Jew and found that the Swiss are more German.

The Spanish eat rice like the Chinese.

Every time I try to sleep!

Since I joked around in my head that my grandma called my mom a nigger and I got mad, I was off my medicine but stopped sleeping well and dreaming about Tim Burton.  Every night, before a deep sleep going to sleep early, I have been waking up like 2, 3, or 4 times every time I sleep.

Divine Soda Pop

I feel like bubbly goo is swirling in my head, like divine soda pop.

Suggestive

Why do people born around 1957-1960 like to be so suggestive?  They appeal to a dwindling, diminishing, decreasing, devolving crowd.

I figured out why.

Ah yes, what about what I think when I'm not looking?  It's not supposed to affect people.  Maybe, I am mad my dad is born in 1950.  He said he was strong, but I think he was fat.  I have a friend with a really fat dad.  He's made my dad seem weak and like shit, as though he has a weak frame, though they're from New Jersey.  Their daughter is so huge, but she took medicine.  She's as tall as me.  My dad is pretty cool, but I don't know why.  He's a little mean, shitty, yet feared.  I don't know why.  Why do other people think their dads make them more special in comparison to my mom?  WTF does that mean?  How old are these people?  I've never seen a very appealing man|boy born around 1957-1961.  The younger boys, like around my age, are attractive, but that's about it, and the younger ones, just not where I'm from..  I don't give a fuck about people Ellen DeGeneres's age and my aunt.  Oh, well, yes I do like my aunts, but I think other people would like them.  I will not say that I'm crap compared to Ellen DeGeneres!  She keeps thinking I'm crap not that it's a result of where I lived and "how" I'm treated, that I'm the way my parents treat me.  I know with other people I'd be very different if I had them as parents.  It was a big part of our lives all growing up.

My Singing!

Just because you won a part in a movie does not mean that I deserve to be treated like shit.

Ellen DeGeneres thinks that other people don't have any meaning because they are from or related to parents born around 1950.  She also judges people for their hair color!  =0  Then, she'll confide in shit with someone.

I'm tired of Helena Bonham Carter and Italians being so crappy.  She seems to have killed me and condemned my existence and point of living.  She just makes up shit.  She is unclear, and it's dumb.  I get messages from her in the silence, but I've been more mad with Johnny Depp and Tim Burton and her daughter.

I have seen people get mad at me for achieving, even though I'm half Chinese.  How can they have a handle on that?..

So, why is it supposed that Italians and Chinese clash?  The Italians haven't eaten as many noodles.  People are mad that they get along.

Follow-Up

Another Post That's a Waste of My Time

You can't really come in with a preconceived notion that you can be mean to someone because something that is a part of their life that is not their fault but may be the fault of those around them happens to hurt you in offense to them.  It tends to change the way people think and make it a big deal that it happened.

Also, why do you think you can like hurt and overwhelm someone because you spent too much time thinking about the wrong things?

I'm cooking big fish and zucchini. -0

Stop!

I forgot to put my orange juice away.

WILL YOU SHUT UP WITH THE INSULTING, INTELLIGENT & PERVERTED CLICKS IN MY ROOM?  ARE YOU NUTS?

Just shut up!  You stupid idiots.

These people are being mean to me, leaving me signs.

Now, I'm hearing other insulting noises.

This has happened since the n word thing.

Oh no!

My dad said he's getting a pimple in his ear, and I think I have a minor one in the same one.  However, it makes it hard for me to eat and in a lot of pain.

^oo^

how long

like in 15 minutes

I keep having to peee!

I'm having a lite period.  8I

Mahead

I feel like air is going through my brain|head.

I feel like I'm gonna die!

What's with all the private hate signals?

Like Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.

Did you know

The point of the organ is to play ghostly, disgusting, somber Halloween tunes?

Ah! I'm so tired!

crrrection

3 pretty long ones.. and I'll add where I'm speaking in the ones where I'm eating

nu photos of me and videos of me loading

flickr

YouTube - 1 video finished, 4 more to go, 2 very long ones

More Suggestions?

My dad keeps making suggestions.  He's retarded.  I'm tired.  Thanks, Ellen DeGeneres, your influence on my family is directly elating.

I'm eating pizza: Pizza Hut

STIM - U - LA - TION

I think I'm in on the cover that maybe I don't stimulate myself.

I was thinking my life was more normal and that I was into proper stuff, but I think that makes people mad.

I guess for some reason I've been trained to have thoughts and not experiences.

...

Wait.  What do I keep finding myself trying to not get stimulated in these abstract, obscure ways?

My Hair Color

I do want to have like a strong yet subtle hair color.  What I mean is that I want it to be like sensitive.

I noticed that everyone is fighting over hair color, particularly those who had white hair as a toddler.

I think most babies had blue-toned eyes...  Mine were not bright, at all.  When they were brown, they were reddish and orangish, but then I got glasses and they got green and yellow eventually.  Gray, too.

So, I notice that maybe I'm not in on the action of hair color.  I was born with wood color hair that looked black from far away.

Why do you have to suggest to me that I'm not white?

You'll just find out that it's not right to prevent me from acting white.

Suggestion

What do you think of people who are wide awake open to help you but themselves at the core are raised to be more intense and overly emotional?

Invincible.

So, do you believe if you are pure and perfect and completely innocent that no noise, thought, nor sound can hurt you?  No feeling nor ill will could possibly offend you.

Have you ever been sensitive to if you did "something wrong" but you didn't, technically, just are a bit clumsy or experiencing problems that factor in with your race?  That's when people are able to affect you because they convince you, like hypnotize you, that you are guilty...

Another thought that comes to mind - wait I forget now!

I'm sensitive to noise.

Why do you think you can do just whatever you want?

Don't you realize that certain actions have equal yet opposite reactions?

I mean, true, you found a way to hurt me.  I'm sensitive to noise.

I have another question.

Why is it such a big deal that I keep rehashing my thoughts on getting attention as an experiment but in a bad way.  Before the n word thing with Burton, things were more at my feet.  ':|  I'm very mad.

What's this? What a rush!

My parents set me up when we moved back to Florida but to Orlando.  We're from Southeastern and Northeastern and Southeastern and Northeastern Florida.  I tried to stay away in college, even though they kicked me out of my major.  I got very sick or tired.  I was hesitent.  I thought my life became an experiment.

It turns out, they don't want us to do things the Florida way.

I have to sit here and put up with my dad's inklings or insecurities about how he reacts to how people think of me, a good girl who's not particularly pretty yet still attractive.

halp!

I'm being haunted by a vision of my future daughter ... and son ... and husband or whatever ... because I felt bestowed upon me a sorta tacky, stimulated look of a young girl nerd with like square, polished finger nails.  I guess straight dark, shoulder-length hair.  More thick or brown glasses.  Also, slick down hair, not especially neat.  Skin that's kinda fair but not pretty.  Just a piece of crap.  Stimulated, stupid, intellectual.  Small, not skinny but not fat.  Sorta greasy or something.  The bad thing is, I got the idea I was calling someone a nigger a bit and then that I was bonking my dad on the head.  I had a dream I had to keep fighting him, and I won though it was hard.  He was talking to my grandma on the phone that night.  I got the idea she was being quickly submissive, sorta turning, and said, "Well, okay that's it."  80  First, though, I got the idea she was saying. "So, that's it?"  It's as though that's some thought that stimulates me to pleasure.  My mom thinks I take pleasure in perversion.

Dream

I don't remember my dream, at the moment.  I was making sure I did something right, and like an attempt like with a crowd with a little white boy with medium brown hair happened 3 times, like rooting and cheering but kinda silently.  I don't know why that image came up, in my sleep.  As usual, I was falling asleep and woke up at some point, I think on my sofa, with some thoughts, like a complicated way of falling into a dream.

I did remember a part of my dream, when I was awake.

Sleep Deprivation

My brain was feeling pressure, like I had to keep it from churning.  It made me wide awake.  It was so perverted.  The people in Orlando.  I haven't even been out.

Yes, 1 day makes a difference.

Didn't Sleep Much :|

One of my eyes is popping out, and my arm is falling apart in 2 different places, like I'm some dead character.

I guess I went to bed around 11 A.M.  I was sleeping on my sofa until about 1 P.M.  I went to my bed and took out my earplugs to set the alarm, but the cars woke me up in the end, though very faint.  (Ah!  I feelk my eyes just crossed.  :0  )  It turned my brain on.  I had a sorta good experience when I did fall asleep.  I think I kept getting up and felt like I wasn't sleeping much.  So, I woke up around 4 P.M.  Pressed the snooze button a few times.

I tagged the clothes.

nice coat

link

halp!

I get so annoyed when cars roar by.  I have a noisemaker.  Should have gotten a fan.  The 2 I had broke.  My dad is getting one for me.

b4

You can't keep making these suggestions that me being good is bad, like before.

Self-Control

I guess people really can't control themselves.

I just thought of something.

So, supposedly when I thought someone wanted me to call them the n word, that's bad, but someone maybe making my egg sacks ruined via telepathy concentrated and such in illegal fashions is okay?

Outdone

It seems you make rules you intend to openly break.

8D

Show Off

Did you notice people with older parents like to show off?

Do you want me to just keep playing games?

Why are people reluctant to go online?

Don't hurt anyone!

If I didn't do something in a certain magnitude does not mean you can say someone else who lives life in the fast lane or curses more and stuff deserves to be treated the way they display themselves because they usually don't mean it against nice people.

Up in the Air

What do you think about people like blasting all the time that everything can't be for the better?  Who in the world is like that?  I know fat people are.

Sick

Why would you say someone should be free to be bad, and then when it comes time for you they will rub in your face how they pleasure them in a sick way for it?

Balancing Act

Where do your feelings come from?  Why can you do something to me trying to balance out the magnitude of something I did that was far from what you're doing to me?

Umm

So, you can randomly come up, when I'm doing something, and say I don't realize "it's not it?"

Nooooh

link

It is no longer for sale at any online store

Oh-h

OK, so, maybe, get this.

I did some core workouts with my dad, and I joked with him snidely that was enough but asked if he wanted to do more.  I've been plagued by what I've been eating, and I feel like throwing up.

Check out this German girl.

link

Calculating

I'm constantly checking myself for things I didn't do wrong that are supposedly wrong.

Even if you killed a man...

Isn't that not worse than being bad all the time in your intentions and morals?

I meant...

3 new photos  8I

nu photos

3 new photos 8}

Flickr

Newfound Freedom

People seem upset at my newfound freedom.

Getting Comfy

If people knew what you were inflicting on me through telepathy and via spying on me in my house|room, you'd be arrested and|or taken in for treatment and I'd be given lots of money and a place to live, maybe, since I need comf accomadations.

The Truth ^--^_

I guess people don't want to tell me the truth so that I don't fight with them.

Ooh!

Outfit for my friend's 18th birthday party in the city?? - Polyvore

www.polyvore.com/outfit_for_my...in.../advice.show?...

:D plus a jacket like this: http://www.ladyshop.sk/gallery/big/vila-vilusha-padded-jacket-crema.jpg white or black would be good. ROBERTO CAVALLI Topaz ...

That's That

Ellen monitors.  She thinks she's so white.  She just says, well, I'm all that.

link

I edited the link to not show the Google Search Image.

Nice Warm Coat

I wish I could get this, but it only comes in XS, anyway.

link

Guilt Trip

Did you ever consider the repercussions that build from listening to someone who doesn't know what they're doing?

Tweet @TheEllenShow

Here's me doing ballet in New Orleans after I got fat up north during Katrina!

YouTube

I guess you can have fun telling which one I am now.  }:)

I've met 2 prominent people from New Orleans, well 3...  It's not on my website, yet.

This just in.

I saw some people on TV.

I realized that Kate Bush is hiding, and Ellen DeGeneres is playing her.  They've thought some very stimulating, perverted thoughts, to some extent at least, about a boy.  I guess I better dish out the low down.  Kate Bush's dad is English, and her mom is Irish.  She appeals to a certain crowd, sorta a split crowd by today's standards, like Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton and Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter and everyone else.  They think they can have it all but that no one else can.  Anyway, so, it seems that she is trying to control how he feels and what people think of him, especially maybe in the U.S.

Guilt Trip

Why does my dad and aunts feel so guilty and now my grandma, about me?  Same goes for my mom and in turn my brother, like everyone else.

Are you following me? ^--^ 8

Why do people enter my reactions, as though I'm a programed animal, who did not do all she could?

* Secrets *

My dad doesn't have the right to participate in my life in comforting Nell Burton about them secretly wanting me to call them the n word.

You can't be serious..

You keep kidding around with me, and no one likes me, anymore.

I deleted the YouTube vid. 8|-

At All

So, you can't control yourself around me?

nu pics of Nell Burton 8I

tumblr

YouTube Comments

YouTube

1st Person: Toiaslimshady - I would be so happy if Ellen was my mother
My Message: Well, that kid is very young.

1st Person: Philip Lukau - Ellen would be a perfect mother!...and Portia too
My Message: The more the merrier!

1st Person: (had lots of likes) pacrisalpe12 - CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME HOW CAN I MAKE ELLEN READ ONE LETTER? I HAVE SOME HISTORY I KNOW SHE'LL LIKE TO KNOW. But the little detail is that I am from Ecuador. This is so serious, please thumps up so everyone can see! THANKS <3
My Message: Keep following her on Twitter, Facebook, her website, and around on other forums. 8I

I fixed the link.

* link *

Old Post: Why don't you just come out in the open?

Old Post: Changes

There's always room to grow.  I don't know how I used to be.  We were always told to study up north, but I wasn't sure.

Old Post: Replanning My Life

I don't know why I got into that.

Old Post: Something You Didn't Do

Why do you fall over yourself thinking you did something you didn't do?

Old Post: Mean People in Florida

People in Florida are really mean, and there are some things you should never say.  However, we say them, and supposedly our lives move on.  We don't know why we do what we do, but we find we don't have to do them.

Old Post: Mad!? 80

So, I got mad yesterday for some reason.  I'll just touch up on that I wasn't that mad.  I was thinking of something I forget...

What I think is that the facts are obvious in how I'm treated, and I should have been allowed to improve.

I don't know why I got mad, but it's over.  Sometimes, things come up, and I can't really play games...

I dunno, now.

people

8I

8I

test

test

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